We were scammed :( lost over 700 but we are coming around and trying to get where the Lord wants us to be and be able to support my family. We got our business pack. I am so excited :) We also had to get some more resources so we are hopefully ready to do this. :) We are listening to a podcast about over coming adversity. http://jefferycombs.podomatic.com/entry/2013-04-03T08_14_13-07_00
Must learn how to not cause adversity and not constantly recover from adversity that I created. It will be a constant fight because it is now part of my neurological network or the neurons that fire back and forth and people or places will show up to remind us of the past, but we can progress past if not all then most of this. We can learn to neutralize our mind state let them go not engage them we will be better off. Learn not to face adversity with anxiety because we will become overwhelmed instantly. This is the check out mode  and we lose the capacity to gain. I do this!! ARGH! I retreat and do not back in the game very well. I have gotten better but it is still a struggle. The people that have caused you to go into anxiety mode tend to show up more frequently because they can feel it radiating off of you. The idea is not to react. To stay cool and calm.

I will finish this call later, but today I was reading about faith and there is this website http://mormon.org/faq/what-is-faith

The comments really hit me but one inparticular really touched me and I figured out what I have be doing wrong. with my faith and moving forward here is what was said:

Cary answered...

Faith is a huge topic, rarely fully understood even by people who talk about it a lot. In the Mormon conception, it's a step of confidence between mere belief and full knowledge. It's perhaps best described by contrast with these two extremes on the continuum on which they all lie. First, faith is not that passive thing we call belief because it's a principle of action. So for someone to have faith, they have to be motivated to put a belief into practice, not merely be content with keeping it in their mind. For example, we believe that Christ is the Savior, but because we have faith we ACT as if this were true, and follow His example as best we can. In fact, "acting as if..." is a fairly good phrase to define faith. On the other hand, faith is not "perfect knowledge" either. There is enough of an element of uncertainty about the thing we have faith in, that it takes an effort of conscious decision-making to test our faith's hypothesis. If we had a full knowledge of a thing, that whole test, and the faith to find out if it's true, wouldn't be necessary. Atheists will argue that faith is mere belief (and baseless, at that), but what I have described for faith here leads to a more "scientific" approach that Atheists would like to admit is operable in the minds of the faithful. The proper response to a scriptural assertion, then, becomes not blind obedience, but rather careful thought, hypothesis forming, and testing. As tests come back proven or unproven, faith will grow in the right direction until it approaches "perfect knowledge".

So for me it was I was looking else where instead of concentrating on what I needed to do. I was not putting my faith into action therefore I was not showing Faith in the gaining the income we need. :( I will have to work hard at not deviating from the path that we know would benefit us. We cannot do this without the Lord. I must give my all! If I do not then we will not succeed. I asked Alan to forgive me for my non-faith and he loves me. :) I have to do this. I must succeed for my family for my husband and for myself. The way is open I just have to take it. Please Lord stay with me.  "I need Thee every hour," every minute and every second of my day so we can pull through.