Meek and lowly of heart

To be meek and lowly of heart are gifts from Heavenly Father through the spirit. With the atonement I can leave my weaknesses behind. I can overcome my addictions and unrighteous desires. I can gain a relationship with Him and know how to help and comfort others. Constant prayer and scripture study. Even Journal writing. Yesterday I  had a huge setback. I yelled and beat my dog for peeing in my house. Then I yelled at my children. I realized afterward what I had done and had to separate myself from everyone to calm down and pray for strength to continue the rest of the night. What a horrible feeling to lose control! Yesterday was just a horrible day! The kids and I made Alan late for work and he will get a recorded reprimand, then I popped Hannah's wrist our of place trying to move her out of the cupboard and her throwing a fit by dropping down. It popped back into place by itself but good grief! 3 hours later. Then Alan gets called into an exercise and can't come home right away. Then the dog pees on my wall. ARGH! Today is going to be a good day! I will make it so! We get our Thanksgiving basket and we get to go to the Library. I want to check out some ABC books and read them to the kids. I also need to do several other things during the day today. It will be a good day! I will practice self control and be aware and present with my children. It is going to be great!

https://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/11/saturday-morning-session/be-meek-and-lowly-of-heart?lang=eng#listen=audio

Conference

To study the words again of conference is to gain more of an understanding of what the Lord and Heavenly Father wants us to do in our lives. Listening to Elder Hales talk, I felt I needed to again review conference so I can know what I need to do for myself and my family!
My cousin Diana is on her mission and I love how she takes the time to write to me on her P-days. Last week was a good week and I told her this:
 Hello Sis Chapman!

I have decided that this week is going to be a good week. We set up our calendar and I have goals to accomplish. One is spend time with my children and study the scriptures more. Keep up with my callings for church and get out of my comfort zone and talk to people. :) Also to get my house under control. I also need to get started on my Christmas gifts which will take some time.

I love reading your e-mail about tender mercies. I know we have had many lately. Especially when we pay tithing we seem to always be covered on our temporal needs. Just today though Moroni was having a really hard time and I really couldn't figure out what was going on. I literally had to hold him for Half and hour and I asked him if he wanted to pray and he said yes so we did and he calmed down so much and started listening so much better! I am about to cry thinking about it. There was another one last night. I won't go into details but I will say my Husband was aware of my needs. :) There is so many more like the new bible videos that we used for home evening on monday and everyone became so calm and I was actually able to look back on my day and say that yes though it was rough it was still a good day and we have solutions for a problem in our ward as well. :)

I will write some more later but right now I have to go cut up some pineapple yum!

Love you

Jeri

Her response was:

Hi Jeri,

Way to go on taking action to make things happen in your life. And I love that you put your family and the Lord first on the priority list and everything else can be built around that. I promise you that you will be blessed in more ways than you can ever imagine when you do that.  One thing I have come to realize is that we can't control everything in our lives and what happens but we can control how we feel and we can take action to help make our lives more in line with Heavenly Father. We can choose to suffer through life or we can choose to to take action to improve ourselves and our lives. When I finally gave up that control and just did the things the Lord asked me to do, Blessings were poured out to me and I have such a testimony of it.  I can already tell blessings are coming to you because of your willingness to do what the Lord has asked of you.

You are such a strength to me and I know that you are such a strength to your family and I hope you will continue to do that. I love you sooooo much and I had this sudden urge that I needed to tell you that Heavenly Father LOVES you unconditionally and that he wants nothing more than to have an amazing Father Daughter relationship with you and that if you continue to put your faith and trust in him, the righteous desires of your heart will be fulfilled. Stay close to him! I will talk to you soon. Tell everyone I said HI and I love you all!

Sister Chapman

I want to have the Father Daughter Relationship so I can teach my children to have it! She was so inspired this was definitely what I needed to hear or read. If I just keep going and doing what I know I need to I can gain all that I wish that is righteous. I just have to exercise faith and patience. It will come if I do all I can to have His spirit. I also need to continue with the Addiction Recovery Program that is offered. It is amazing how much the Lord gives us and many of us do not use or are too Prideful to use. I love the spirit that is there and they are wonderful people to help and guide us through our struggles and be more positive.

https://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/11/saturday-morning-session/general-conference-strengthening-faith-and-testimony?lang=eng#listen=audio

This morning is new morning

Just a few thoughts. Beauty comes from how you study the gospel and if we put on the full armor of Christ then we can stand in holy places and well as be a holy place. We can rejoice in our blessings and over come the things of the world. Continually pray for his help and guidance. Continually pray and thank Him for the blessings He showers down on us. This week will be a good week! Lots to do and experience. Lots to accomplish. Lots of time to teach my children and gain the spirit in my life continually. Must continually move forward and learn and grow.

Conference

The last two days have been AMAZING! I mean the spiritual feast that was given and I got to partake of. Beautiful General conference. Wonderful speakers talking about my responsibility as a mother that I feel I have neglected in many aspects. I have been so worried about my business and trying to keep my house clean and getting organized that my children have not had their mother around a whole lot. :( Time to refocus and go to the temple for my family and others, play with my children and do activities with them, get to know my neighbors and gain valuable relationships, serve those around me. I am not alone and my Father in Heaven is aware of my struggles and my heart. Faith is the key.

We have wanted for a very long time to put Moroni in dance classes and Hannah in gymnastics. We have been afraid we could not afford it and we are still afraid, but they are good things and I want to take that time to spend with each child even if it is only for a little while. We still have tithing to pay and we will then we will sign our children up for the classes and hope, pray, and have faith that it will work out to our good.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10100260020144578&set=a.941240404758.2200016.23709651&type=1&theater

I have been really upset with the government for shutting down and not caring about the people who they are hurting and then they expect the citizens to stand by their idiotic decisions. I will follow God's laws and I will fight for His law and continue to teach my children the true meaning of life, liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. It requires work and faith for "faith without works is dead" God bless the USA! "Choose you this day whom ye will serve, but as for me and my house we will serve the Lord!!"

Watch conference feel of the Spirit and Know that all things are possible for with the Help of the Lord!

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2013/10?cid=HPFR100413105&lang=eng

"Love the Lord thy God with all your might, mind, and strength!" "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God!"

"Daily Bread"

Our simple daily routines if we call them that of reading scriptures and saying prayers help transform us.

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=2649250157001

I must live moment to moment day by day. If I can just get my daily requirement and not keep asking for the end result good things will happen. Maybe He wants us to walk through it with Him. He is teaching us how to overcome with His help. It helps not to think too much ahead but to go day by day and we may not see the light at the end of the tunnel, but we have enough for today.

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=2649255347001

We are expected to look to him for daily nourishment. Taking one day at a time. He is content with our progress and will help us continue with it. "With His atonement we become different people than we would be without it." He is who we aspire to be.  Be patient of with time.

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=2649250159001

I am becoming the person I want to be. I still have a long way to go, but I am getting there. I need to continually apply the messages I get to my life and practices through the day. Prayer is a must. I need to do it on my own as well as with my children and husband. I would like to incorporate couples prayer in the mornings. I just don't feel like I have support, but I know I do. I just have to set the example.

10 things I am thankful for

1. My wonderful patient husband.
2. I am grateful for my husband's smile
3. I am grateful for my daughter Hannah's curiosity and genuine unconditional love.
4. I am grateful for Moroni's energy.
5. I am grateful for my friend Shannon who is a wonderful support
6. I am grateful for my friend Nicole who is also a like minded thinker and wonderful support
7. I am grateful for banks and the ability to get loans for needed help
8. I am grateful for HMO and TMO for reimbursing us for our moving expenses
9. I am grateful for Tonja Winters who gave us fresh food that we really needed.
10. I am grateful for the PSI work because I feel it has brought out the Daughter of God that I really am.

The Lord Never Shouted at me

I have made the commitment not to yell at my children in anger. I have learned that they will not trust me if I continued to give negative vibes. This article in the ensign shows me or confirms to me that I am in the right path. :)

http://www.lds.org/ensign/2013/09/the-lord-never-shouted-at-me?lang=eng

She talks about how one of her children goes astray with drinking smoking drugs and foul language and because she was so scared for him she would confront him and they would argue loudly. She even received a blessing where the Lord chastised her for yelling at her children saying something like I never yelled at you. He also encouraged the parents to let their son make his own choices unless it directly affected the family. He would have to take the consequences for those actions as well.

I know I continually catch myself when I am angry and have shift to keep under control. It takes practice and we do mess up sometimes. We just have to keep going and we will succeed!! My little boy like to try me and I have this thought from reading the article that I will let him be. He knows mostly right from wrong but we are all still learning so patience and understanding is key. Today is going to be a GREAT day!

Self-Reliance

Self-reliance is the ability, commitment, and effort to provide for the spiritual and temporal well-being of ourselves and of our families.¹

As we learn and apply the principles of self-reliance in our homes and communities, we have opportunities to care for the poor and needy and to help others become self-reliant so they can endure times of adversity.

We have the privilege and duty to use our agency to become self-reliant spiritually and temporally. Speaking of spiritual self-reliance and ourdependence on Heavenly Father, Elder Robert D. Hales of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has taught: “We become converted and spiritually self-reliant as we prayerfully live our covenants—through worthily partaking of the sacrament, being worthy of a temple recommend, and sacrificing to serve others.”²

Elder Hales counseled us to become self-reliant temporally, “which includes getting a postsecondary education or vocational training, learning to work, and living within our means. By avoiding debt and saving money now, we are prepared for full-time Church service in the years to come. The purpose of both temporal and spiritual self-reliance is to get ourselves on higher ground so that we can lift others in need.”³

I do not need to feel guilt. I can do this 90 day push or burst then settle into it. Then do it again. It is a good thing and will make our family self-reliant. It will help us as we get to our goals and help others reach theirs. Then when we are old we can go on missions and serve the Lord in every thing and not have to worry whether we will make it or if our children with be alright. What a peaceful beautiful thing!

Chapter 25

Jesus gives the parables of the ten virgins, the talents, and the sheep and the goats.

 1 ^aThen shall the kingdom of heaven be likened unto ten ^bvirgins, which took their ^clamps, and went forth to meet the bridegroom.

 2 And five of them were wise, and five were foolish.

 3 They that were foolish took their lamps, and took no oil with them:

 4 But the wise took oil in their vessels with their lamps.

 5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all ^aslumbered and ^bslept.

 6 And at midnight there was a cry made, Behold, the ^abridegroomcometh; go ye out to meet him.

 7 Then all those virgins arose, and trimmed their ^alamps.

 8 And the foolish said unto the wise, Give us of your oil; for our lamps ^aare gone out.

 9 But the wise answered, saying, Not so; lest there be not enough for us and you: but go ye rather to them that sell, and buy for yourselves.

 10 And while they went to buy, the bridegroom came; and they that were ^aready went in with him to the marriage: and the door was ^bshut.

 11 Afterward came also the other virgins, saying, Lord, Lord, open to us.

 12 But he answered and said, ^aVerily I say unto you, I ^bknow you not.

 13 ^aWatch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh.

This scripture reminds me that I must first take care of my own needs before anyone else's because if I do not then I will not have my own oil to light for the King when He comes.

1 Timothy  5:8

8 But if any ^aprovide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Again I need to take care of my own house before I take care of anyone else's problems because it is unwise to have gotten us in this situation and not have sufficient funds to cover our needs.

Alma 34:27-28

 27 Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your ^ahearts be ^bfull, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your^cwelfare, and also for the welfare of ^dthose who are around you.

 28 And now behold, my beloved brethren, I say unto you, do not suppose that this is all; for after ye have done all these things, if ye^aturn away the ^bneedy, and the ^cnaked, and visit not the sick and afflicted, and ^dimpart of your substance, if ye have, to those who stand in need—I say unto you, if ye do not any of these things, behold, your ^eprayer is ^fvain, and availeth you nothing, and ye are as ^ghypocrites who do deny the faith.

I need to share of my substance of what I have or I am no better than those I despise for their greediness.

D&C 44:6

 6 Behold, I say unto you, that ye must ^avisit the poor and the needy and administer to their relief, that they may be kept until all things may be done according to my law which ye have received. Amen.

I need to ask for visiting teaching assignment.

D&C 58:26-29

 26 For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is ^acompelled in all things, the same is a ^bslothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

 27 Verily I say, men should be ^aanxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

 28 For the power is in them, wherein they are ^aagents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their ^breward.

 29 But he that ^adoeth not anything until he is commanded, and receiveth a commandment with ^bdoubtful heart, and keepeth it with slothfulness, the same is ^cdamned.

The Lord doesn't want command us in everything because we have the gift of agency and need to learn to us our own brains. If it is a good work then go for it! If we are being righteous then continue to move on your righteous desires. He is not happy when we do not move and then He commands us to do something and we doubt that commandment. Not wise at all. I am doing good with moving forward with Isagenix because it is a good work and I am learning a skill that will make our family self-reliant and it will help others to be self-reliant as well.

D&C 88:118

118 And as all have not ^afaith, seek ye diligently and ^bteach one another words of ^cwisdom; yea, seek ye out of the best ^dbookswords of wisdom; seek learning, even by study and also by faith.

Magnify our church callings and ask for a visiting teaching assignment. Find out where we can do service for our community and neighbors.

After the Latter-day Saints had gathered in the Salt Lake Valley, which was an isolated desert, President Brigham Young wanted them to flourish and establish permanent homes. This meant the Saints needed to learn skills that would allow them to become self-sufficient. In this effort, President Young had great trust in the capacities, talents, faithfulness, and willingness of the women, and he encouraged them in specific temporal duties. While the specific duties of Relief Society sisters are often different today, the principles remain constant:

1. 1. 
   Learn to love work and avoid idleness.
2. 2. 
   Acquire a spirit of self-sacrifice.
3. 3. 
   Accept personal responsibility for spiritual strength, health, education, employment, finances, food, and other life-sustaining necessities.
4. 4. 
   Pray for faith and courage to meet challenges.
5. 5. 
   Strengthen others who need assistance.⁴
6. I am learning to love work and we are learning to sacrifice. I have the responsibility to help my husband with our financial in come though we are very taken care of with the military. I will finish my education in finance. I will pray to have faith and courage to meet the challenges that in front of us and let go of the mistakes and pain of the past but use it to my advantage in the present and future. I will give of my blessings to others and help assist them in their journey.

"A Defense and a Refuge" President Packer Oct 2006 conference Sunday afternoon session.

"A few points that I love are "arise and shine forth, that thy light may be a standard for the nations;"

"If we are doing the best we can, we should not become discouraged."

"There would be no end to the kinds of challenges that the early Saints would face. New challenges would be different than, but certainly not less than, that through which they had made their way."
We will always have opposition it is how we endure and work through it that blesses and strengthens us.

"Some live with an unspoken fear of what awaits us and the Church in the world."
I know I have always had a fear that nagged at me, but if we are doing what we are suppose to be doing then we will be alright.

"We can live where we wish, doing the best we can to make a living, whether modest or generous. We are free to do as we wish with our lives, assured of the approval and even the intervention of the Almighty, confident of constant spiritual guidance."
If we do our very best to follow Heavenly Father's commandments we can be sure He will help us get where we are work to go and it will be in alignment with what he wants for us.

"We are not to be afraid, even in a world where the hostilities will never end."
Fear is going to come, but it is not ok to have fear paralyze you so you do not move forward! That is the evil one targeting you. The Lord gives happiness and peace not fear. We must identify the fear then move into action. The fear is never going to go away we have to accept that then shift to move forward.

"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in heaven" (Matthew 5:16; 3 Nephi 12:16).
We are given a power and light to lift others and in so doing we lift ourselves. "No greater joy there is than a man lay down his life for his friend."

"do 'not [be] ashamed of the gospel of [Jesus] Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth" (Romans 1:16)

I have found that I do not have to do anything. I have the right to choose what I do. I have the right to want to do things and not feel guilty if I do not complete them or do not do them. I do have commandments and I can choose to either like to follow them or complain about them. I choose to follow them so that I can have the Spirit of my Father in Heaven with me at all times. I am a beautiful daughter of God and have the gift of agency and I am free to choose who will have an influence in my life and how I will live me life. I JERI STEELE CHOOSE TO DO THIS EVENT!!! It will probably be harder than what I think but constant movement and decisions are all that matter!!! When I make mistakes I know my Lord and Savior has suffered for my sins and I can be forgiven of them and forgive myself as well. I can be kind and gentle with myself and others. I am entitled to His love and the Love of my Father in Heaven. I can feel Them close as I choose the right paths for my family and I to follow. I AM EXCITED!! I love myself and I love my brothers and sisters. I am able to connect with them and I am worth so much more than the precious things of this world. Thank Thee wonderful Father for this abundant life and the gifts event he gifts that come in the form of challenges we are truly blessed. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.

Blessings of the day

There was mostly a spirit of kindness in our home. We were able to go for a walk. I got to spend sometime playing the keyboard and writing on our story. I got to read some uplifting encouragements from my sisters to another sister. We all had naps!! We have good food. I was able to put away food. I recentered. I received a blessing of healing and I am healed. :) Alan and I are privileged to study Spanish and Nutrition. Alan came home to us and was happy. :) We were able to invited the missionaries (elders) for dinner on Wednesday night.We had a good nights sleep. I feel peace, love, and calmness. I am also pretty sure I am pregnant. :) Oh the blessings of these wonderful days.

I have be blessed to go and participate in healing creative personal growth seminars. I am grateful for the support and love they have for people to gain their life and love back. I can feel the connection to my brothers and sisters in this world now. I know they are wonderful and we came for loving merciful parents who only want the best for us. From the direction of these wonderful parents and  loving brother Christ we have a gospel that  teaches us good from evil and how to recognize the good and be thankful for our blessings even when they come as challenges. From both these organizations we have great support and strength. If we ever feel a lacking we can always turn to the Lord or our Father in Heaven for support and guidance. "Blessed be the name of the Most High God"

Thank Thee Father for these wonderful blessings and days filled with wonder and excitement. I love Thee. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

http://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/08/recognize-remember-and-give-thanks?lang=eng

Trust in God!

Step 3:

"Key Principle: Decide to turn your will and your life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and His Son, Jesus Christ."

I never realized that I had a doubt but I did. I want to believe and I do believe though. I have overcome that doubt. I know I have been blessed and continue to be blessed everyday. I am afraid to turn over my agency to the Lord. This is a gift from Him and it is our right. I am afraid that if I do turn over my will He will make me do something I do not like. LOL But I know it would be better for me. My feelings are so conflicting. This step has hit me hard and when I first read it I felt like I was being slapped. HA! Not I really want to do this but not sure how exactly to get the that point of submissiveness to our Father in Heaven. A few areas that hit me are these:

"When we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in God's will, then we are really giving something to Him" ("Insights from My Life," Ensign, Aug. 2000, 9).

Everything we have on this earth was already given to us by the Lord. He is only loaning it to us so when we give it back it is like we are giving him back our own stuff or showing gratitude which is great, but what is truly ours is our Agency and to give that to Him is a true gift and He feels and shows us gratitude for doing so. Then He can truly being to use us for His work and help Him gather His children in.

President Boyd K Packer said, "Perhaps the greatest discovery of my life, without question the greatest commitment, came when finally I had the confidence in God that I would loan or yield my agency to Him-... In a sense, speaking figuratively, to take one's angency that precious gift which the scriptures make plain is essential to life itself, and say, 'I will do as you direct,' is afterward to learn that in so doing you possess it all the more" (Obedience, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [Dec, 7, 1971], 4).

I can actually understand this. I mean we want to do go so when we finally let go and follow the Lord as he directs we can stand for our beliefs even better. We have more strength to overcome our trials and seek through our challenges. We can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. We can defend honor and truth speaking up when things are just not right. We won't have the natural man relying on man anymore, How do we get there. How do we let go? Practice?

"We face the truth that recovery was far more the result of the Lord's efforts than our own."

He wants to give us freedom from our addictions and weaknesses. All we have to do is let Him. He knows exactly how we feel and He knows us He knows our hearts. How do we let go of something we are use to?
Time and practice?

"Allow God to recover and redeem us." "Allow Him to direct our lives, remembering, of course, that He always respects our agency." " Decide to put our lives in His hands  by continuing to follow this spiritually focused program of recovery."

Allow Allow and Decide. We have to consciously make the choice. Maybe several times a day. I know I need too. Let go!!

"We realize that changing our lives this much had to be our own decision." "We saw we had to be willing to stay clean and sober regardless of anyone else's opinions or choices."

I cannot make myself please everyone. It does not work. If I don't like something then I must change it or say something. Do not be mean be patient kind, and long suffering. Charity. My problem is is that I do good for a day or so then I flip flop and get sucked in again to my weaknesses. I am not sure how to become positive one day at a time when I flip flop so often. ARGH! It is so frustrating. I want to do as the Lord wants me to. I just have to let go relax have an open mind.

"Alma 5:13: 'They humbled themselves and put their trust in the true and living God.'" "As we take this step we feel terrified of the unknown." "Childhood was very difficult and we are terrified of becoming vulnerable  as little children again ... Making a definite commitment is nearly impossible, given the insanity surrounding us in this world. We have seen too many commitments broken. We have broken too many ourselves ... Keep doing as our recovering friends are doing 'Don't use. Go to meetings. Ask for help.'

I want to go to more meetings but I feel like I have too many other responsibilities. Half the time by studying I feel I am taking up too much time from my kids. I can't do this alone though. I am truly struggling to overcome and be as the Lord wants me to be. I am struggling to give my will to Him. Mind over matter. HA! What a joke. It is Spirit over body but to do that we have to turn our lives to Him. The little things matter!! Nothing I do seems good enough. I am trying to live better and get good nutrition and good things in my life. I am trying to be a better mother and wife. I am trying to serve. Just do it. So much to overcome.

"They patiently wait for us to become willing to open the door to God just a little bit."

These are the friends that who see your struggles and know what and how to help you. These are also Heavenly Father and Christ. The Spirit comes when we open our hearts even a small amount.

Christ says: "I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him. and he with me" (Revelation 3:20).

This is how it is "At first our efforts are anxious and halting. We keep giving the Lord our trust and then taking it back . We worry that He will be displeased at our inconsistency and withdraw His support and love from us. But He doesn't."

"Each of us realize that we not only have to give up our addictions, but we also have to turn our entire will and life over to God. As we do so we find Him patient and accepting of our faltering efforts to surrender to Him in all things. Our ability to withstand temptation has to be grounded in continual submission to the will of the Lord. We need to learn  to accept life on the Lord's terms."

This is slightly different than what is in the workbook, but it holds more to me when I put it in the present rather than the past. This is exactly how I feel right now. I must learn I must do because I cannot overcome by myself. I have already tried. I must be with the Lord for success.

"Elder Maxwell observed, this submission to the Lord is hard doctrine. It requires us to rededicate ourselves to His will at the start of each day and sometimes every hour or even from moment to moment. As we are willing to do so, we find the grace, or enabling power, to do what we could not do for ourselves."

Mine is moment to moment because I can flip a switch and be ruthless. It has to be a moment to moment. I must remember. I must.

"Continued submission to God's will reduces strife and brings more meaning to our lives. We accept and treat others as we would like to be treated, as the Savior would treat us all."

I will have to ponder on this one more because I need to figure out how He wants us to treat some others or how I would want to be treated in some cases because sometimes I do not know.

"Each day we renew our submission to the Lord and His will. 'One day at a time.' Decide to let go of the self-will and self-seeking that were at the root of our addictions and enjoy another 24 hours of the serenity and strength that come from trusting in God and in His goodness, power, and love."

I do some of the addictions to overcome frustration or to think through a problem, but it just makes me more frustrated. I need to study a little more on the self-will and self-seeking to understand what they are more so I can fix them.

Studying Hope and Understanding

"Belief in God"

"Believe in God; believe that he is,and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend" (Mosiah 4:9).

"Many witnesses in heaven and in earth testify of God's existence.What evidences of God and His love have you experienced?"

Here lately I have felt peace and calming. When I look at my children and enjoy their sweet spirits I can feel the love the Lord has for them and me. When I feel their gentle kicks from within while pregnant I know they are coming from a wonderful home and I have close to God because we helps create these wonderful little bodies. When I think of the babies that have not survived and yet families have received comfort and know they are safe and with our loving Father and Brother. I know God is with us. There are so many unexplained miracles that are so wonderful and awe inspiring. I am one of these. I was born with a hole in my heart between the good and bad blood. In many cases the bad blood would flow into the good and the child would have to have life saving surgery while mine was reversed. The good blood was running into the bad and it saved my life. Many times also the holes do not close. Mine did. Very gradually but it closed!! 16 years. I think of my Mother is so many accidents and my father praying for her safety and though she was in the car accidents she was saved. Her ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and she was still awake she had lost so much blood! It was before Loraina and I was born. We are little miracles for my mother. I know as I was deployed He sent angels before me to prepare the way. I was so protected. I was so blessed that I could receive mine endowment before I deployed which also was a great protection. So many many things to be grateful for and to know God Lives Jesus is the Savior of the world and The Holy Ghost helps guide us to our true and everlasting salvation if we let it. I have overcome many things from my youth that many have not been able to. This is because the Lord was walking beside me and carrying me when I had no strength left. I would be dead if not for the Gospel. I would have killed myself long ago. I am blessed beyond what I even know. :)

"Faith in Jesus Christ"

"Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil , with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ' (Alma 37:33).

"Many of us tried to get out of our addictions through sheer will power or through having faith in a friend or therapist. Sooner or later we found that our faith in ourselves or others did not enable us to overcome our addiction fully. Write about your feelings today of being humble and willing to turn to Christ and His gospel above all other sources of help in your recovery efforts."

My addictions are not as others or I had not realized my addictions were addictions until I was married which mentioned in the section above here. It took me a while to drop my pride enough to realize that I was indeed needing help from a higher Power. Or Heavenly Father and Jesus our Savior. It was so hard and I did push it off a while. But I knew trials were coming and I knew I didn't have the Spirit with me at all times and I was getting more flustered and taking it out on my children. I am in desperate need of help. I knew no one else could help me they had already tried. I have to beg forgiveness every day. I want the Spirit in my life  So I can be a good mother, wife, daughter, and sister. I want to have that peace and calming and have endless patience so I do not hurt my children in anyway and  I can help them progress and be better than I was. I want to be able to support my Husband in everything he does or needs to do with long patience without complain. I want my home to be Christ centered!!PLEASE! He is the only one that can help me now. :)

"The Savior's Compassion"

"Straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief" (Mark 9:24).

"This man sought help from the Savior and obtained it. Jesus did not rebuke him for his doubt. Write about the Savior's compassion and patience."

How many times have I screwed up? I can't even count the times. Even if you have just a slight belief in Him or in what He can do for you then He can help you expound on it and learn more. It is similar to the mustard seed. Even if you only have a slight desire He can help make it grow!! He is always there when we need Him the most. The Savior knows our struggles. He suffered for every single one of them. He feels our pain so He knows how to overcome and help us overcome. He has tremendous patience with us because I think of Jonah and I know He continuously waits for our return to help us. Every time we mess up and we return He takes us back without question. Endless patience. I desire to learn this with my life.

"How do you feel about sharing your feelings with the Lord?"

Many times I am afraid. I feel like He already knows my issues and doesn't need to hear them and I don't want to bother Him with them either. I don't feel worthy of His kindness. Then it becomes too much and I have to let go of them or they will eat me up so I tell Him and I feel a sense of calm and peace. I know He is giving me strength to carry on with my life.

"The Gift of grace"

"Let us...come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

"In the Bible Dictionary, grace is defined as "divine means of help or strength" given through the "bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ" ("Grace," 697). This gift of divine strength enables you to do more than you would be able to do if left on your own. The Savior will do for you what you cannot do for yourself. His grace is the means by which you can repent and be changed. In what way have you felt the gift of grace in your life?"

He has relieve much of my pain from abuse I relieved as a child. I have a desire to change where at first my desire was minimal. He has helped me overcome trials. I have overcome an addiction already through His divine help and gentle guidance. He helps us gain experience and strengthen ourselves against the adversary.
I have prayed for His divine strength and I have received it. I am a work in progress but I know He has helped me with my addictions already.

"How can the gift of divine strength enable you to maintain continuous  recovery?"

I have to pray for it continuously throughout the day. It helps us overcome and think of better ways to handle the painful or perceived pain of life. Divine strength enables us to avoid our weakness. This is what I need to pray for every morning and evening. Even throughout the day.

"Healing"

Believest thou in the power of Christ unto salvation? ...If thou believest in the redemption of Christ thou canst be healed" (Alma 15:6, 8).

"When we think of healing, we usually think about our bodies. What else about you might require the healing power of Jesus Christ?"

My spirit needs healing because my body is connected to my spirit in our soul. If my body craves for something the spirit will eventually as well. The wounds are deep and need to heal for the soul or the body and spirit. As our Spirit and body heal our minds will then become clearer and heal as well. Our hearts need to heal as well they are the bodies connection or communication to the Spirit.

"Write about your need to draw on the redeeming (liberating, transforming) power of Christ."

I have a great need to call on this power because I am constantly struggling through my day to overcome my challenges. I have ups and downs. I just want to have a steady up so I can help my children to be happy and I want them to know I love them and discipline them without hurting them mentally or physically. It is sad that I have such a hard time letting go of my weaknesses because I am addicted to them. I must be better. My desire has grown but it is a difficult road and I have set backs. When you are use to it and those around you do it is hard to change, but I know if I just keep asking and praying and knowing or having faith I will get there and then I can teach others. Please stay with me. please. Need this to be successful in my family and work life.

"Awakening"

"If ye will  awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words" (Alma 32:27).

"Becoming aware-or awaking and arousing your faculties-is an important part of the process of learning to believe. In what ways are you more aware today of Jesus Christ and His power in your life than you were last week? last month? last year?"

From last week I know more than ever I cannot over come these addictions or weaknesses with our Him. From a month ago, I am learning that even though I might only have a slight desire to change it will grow. From last year I have learned even if I only have a slight belief in something that is good it will grow and I continue to pursue it. Or if I only have a slight belief in the power of Christ  He will still help me and guide me to more belief and a knowing of Him and His glorious power.

"Deliverance from bondage"

"They were in captivity, and again the Lord did deliver them out of bondage by the power of his word" (Alma 5:5).

"The word of God will be powerful in releasing you from bondage. You can find the word of God in the scriptures and the talks you hear at conference and read in Church magazines. You can also receive God's word directly through the Holy Ghost. Write some of the things you are willing to do today to receive His word to you."

I am willing to read the Ensign, Pray often morning and evening before scripture study. Study the scriptures, study Church books. I would love to go to more recovery meetings.

Hope in action.

"As you let go of pride and begin to consider bringing God back into your life, you will start to think in more prayerful terms."

I really want to pray more. I feel sometimes that I might pray too much and I should do things on my own occasionally, but I seem to get into trouble that way too. Maybe I wait too long. I would really like to think in more prayerful terms.

"At last you will begin to experience the healing effects of breaking out of self-imposed isolation."

I am looking forward to meeting new people and having friends that have some of the same goals or like minds. Look forward to having friends that are more positive and encouraging. Oh I know I will keep the friends I have but it would be great to have more encouragement and new ideas for progression.

"The desire to communicate with God will lead you to study the words of modern and ancient prophets."

I really want to study the Ensign which is sitting on the table here staring at me. I really need to find time to just sit and study. There is so much and I think I take too much time up. There is just so much I want to know and learn and overcome but never enough time. I will just have to keep going.

"As you write your thoughts, you will receive additional impressions from the Spirit, Study prayerfully and the Lord will give you answers to your questions and needs."

I need to pray in the morning and evening. Please stay with me because I really need the Spirit with me to accomplish what I need to. I Love studying the word of the Gospel. It is so empowered.

"A great place to begin your is with the verses at the end of each chapter in this guide."

I wasn't sure at one point if the questions counted because I want to do more but sometimes I do not have time to do more. :(

"Take a few minutes every day to seek what the Lord desires to communicate to you."

I am excited to learn more of what the Lord would have me do and to know what He thinks of me as I continue through my day. I am excited to overcome my addictions and be a better person.

"Believe in God the Eternal Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ, and in the Holy Ghost" " ...We at least had some knowledge of Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ and the Holy Ghost. We may even had a simple belief in Them, but often we did not connect our personal struggles with our need for God's power in our lives."

This is so true I have struggled with many of these addictions for many many years and I did not realize that they were addictions until I began to have my own family. It just didn't occur to me that these would strain some of my relationships and upset my Husband and my children in many ways. I am seeking recovery and desire change or transformation for myself.

"Our testimonies are that you can come to know the perfectly united love of the Godhead by watching for evidence of Their love and power in your life and in the lives of others."

I am learning why we don't do certain things and why we do do some things. I need to let go of things so I can progress. Forgive and forget. Move forward with faith and be believe that everything is for our good.

Children

• "Precious moments of opportunity to interact and converse with our children dissolve when we are occupied with distractions. Why not choose a time each day to disconnect from technology and reconnect with each other? Simply turn everything off. When you do this, your home may seem quiet at first; you may even feel at a loss as to what to do or say. Then, as you give full attention to your children, a conversation will begin, and you can enjoy listening to each other."

  —Rosemary M. Wixom, "The Words We Speak"
  Topics: Children, Communication, Technology

• "This divine privilege of raising our children is a much greater responsibility than we can do alone, without the Lord's help. He knows exactly what our children need to know, what they need to do, and what they need to be to come back into His presence. He gives mothers and fathers specific instruction and guidance through the scriptures, His prophets, and the Holy Ghost."

  —Cheryl A. Esplin, "Teaching Our Children to Understand"
  Topics: Family

• "One of the greatest influences a person can have in this world is to influence a child. Children's beliefs and self-worth are shaped early in their lives. Everyone within the sound of my voice has the power to increase a child's confidence in himself or herself and to increase a child's faith in Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ through the words they speak."

  —Rosemary M. Wixom, "The Words We Speak"
  Topics: Children, Faith
  
  
  How do we stop yelling and screaming. Can we help them with every thing? I don't want to "baby" will it work if we do only encouragement? What about punishment? Very frustrating to figure out what to do and stick with it.