I struggle to keep my bearings as I continue to stay here. I feel trapped in myself and unable to push through my addictions and overcome. I cannot overcome without the help of my Lord. I cannot progress without the spirit in my life. I watched 17 miracles today and Porter Rockwell. The saints went through so much and to keep the faith and had so many miracles through their journeys. Bring people back from the dead and feeling Angels push them towards Zion. I have felt such things in times of lonely while in the Army i felt arms surround me and tell me everything will be ok. Every will work out. And it has. I have lost sight of many of our goals and fallen into a state of neglected faith and depression that I have a really hard time getting over those feelings and moving forward. I have come to understand they are an addiction that I must overcome to have the spirit with me at all times. I have to work towards the Kingdom of God to become successful in anything that I do. We have been so blessed. I just have to keep studying the scriptures and writing the thoughts that come to my mind and heart and I will move forward. "Pride and honesty cannot coexist." "The proud cannot accept the authority of God giving direction to their lives."
"The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior than the a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior." ~ President Boyd K. Packer.

Step 1 to the recovering from my addictions is "Honesty: Admit that you, of yourself, are powerless to overcome your addiction and that your life has become unmanageable."

"Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in His strength I can do all things." Alma 26: 12

 17 Nevertheless, notwithstanding the great ^agoodness of the Lord, in showing me his great and marvelous works, my heart exclaimeth: O ^bwretched man that I am! Yea, my heart ^csorrowethbecause of my flesh; my soul grieveth because of mine iniquities.

 18 I am encompassed about, because of the temptations and the sins which do so easily ^abeset me.

 19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have ^atrusted.

 20 My God hath been my ^asupport; he hath led me through mine^bafflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.

 21 He hath filled me with his ^alove, even unto the ^bconsuming of my flesh.

 22 He hath confounded mine ^aenemies, unto the causing of them to quake before me.

2 Nephi 4:17-22

Blessed be the Lord God for ALL THINGS are possible with Him. :)