Addiction recovery

"Encompassed by temptations"

Do you feel encompassed or trapped? When do you feel this way most often?

I feel trapped when unexpected situations come. When a situation arises that I cannot control. Or if anyone in my family is sick or stressed out. Or I do not grasp the concept of a situation or information that is being presented or I am trying to learn. I even feel trapped when I am excited or relieved about something.  If I do not feel the spirit.

What situations or feelings weakened your so you gave into your addiction?

Stress, Uncertainty, Anxiety, disappointment, tired, pondering, loneliness. Seemingly never ending duties for church or work or school or house hold chores. Cranky and/or sick family member (s). Upset with someone or myself. When I cannot see or feel progress. When I do not reach my goals that I work so hard for. Perceived pain. Many things to accomplish in a very short amount of time. Annoyance, frustration, nervousness,  Knowing a change is needed but not sure how to go about doing it. Confusion, fear.

When Nephi felt overwhelmed, in whom did he place his trust? What can you do to place more trust in the Lord?

Nephi trusted in the Lord. He asked the Lord for help constantly and had faith enough to gain the experiences to gain knowledge of the Lord and gain spiritual confirmation. He overcame persecution from his own family members. He trusted completely in the Lord. :) It seems to simple to place our trust in the Lord but we make it difficult. Read the scriptures, pray, go to church and fulfill your callings, worship the Lord our God and have no other gods before Him. Pay tithing, give of your substance to others that they may be blessed by the Lord through us.Hang out with more positive people. Gain friends that have some of the same goals. Reach out to others that do not the blessings we do so they can partake of the glories of God. Let go of yourself and work to gain the Kingdom of God.

"I know that man is nothing"

"It came to pass that it was for the space of many hours before Moses did again receive his natural strength like unto man; and he said unto himself: Now, for this cause I know that man is nothing, which thing I never had supposed" ( Moses 1:10)

How did Moses describe himself as compared to God?

He was nothing and his own strength was no match for the Lords. It took hours for Moses to get his natural man strength back. It is interesting the he would say natural strength of the man, I makes me think that the Lord gives us strength to take things on that we did not know we could bear. It is like Christ in the Garden He was not alone. Angels came and supported Him. If Christ had support and He was Half God then why do we suppose that we can do all things by ourselves. It is NOT POSSIBLE!

How can little children be of infinite worth and still be nothing when compared to his or her parents?

It is their potential to do good! They do not understand at this moment but if we teach them to rely on the Lord they can accomplish such great feats. They can be anything and do anything. They can be stronger than their own parents. Love greater. They will eventually teach their own parents. But as children they still have to learn from their parents.

In what ways are you nothing when you do not have the help of God?

My weaknesses become overwhelming. I am more irritable and do not have the focus I need to successful with my family, church, or work. I am unable to get out of a depressive state, I am unable to overcome my faults or trials. I feel loneliness, unworthy, void of love and peace. I have a hard time forgiving. I cannot move forward or progress and I feel stagnant and begin to slip into a black whole or I feel I like I am rotting.

In what ways are you of infinite worth?

I am a daughter of a KING! I have so many opportunities to become great. I can have all that Heavenly Father has. I can give to others that do not have as much as I do. I can help others. I can have an eternal family. I can become as the Savior and have charity for all.

Write about how recognizing your helplessness to overcome your addiction on your own can bring you to admit your own nothingness and become as a little child.

I can see and I know how I am unable to overcome my addictions without the Lord because it is like water constantly running and on whatever the water running on it is being cut and their will forever be a grove or a scar. I constantly revert back to my addiction when something I want to hide from becomes present. It is a survival mechanism, but I don't need to survive I need to be successful. I have to submit my will to the Lord as a child eventually submits his will to the parent because most of the time the Parent knows the best way to hand the situation. The difference is that Heavenly Father does know the difference and He will help us if we align our lives to His wonderful will and use faith.

Hunger and Thirst

"Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled" (Matthew 5:6).

"And my soul hungered; and I kneeled down before my Maker, and I cried unto him in mighty prayer and supplication for mine own soul; and all the day long did I cry unto him; yea, and when the night came I did still raise my voice high that I reached the heavens" (Enos 1:4).

In the scriptures, we learn that our souls can hunger. Do you ever feel empty inside, even when you are not physically hungry? What causes that emptiness?

Yes I feel many times empty. The emptiness is caused because I do not have the spirit with me at that time. I have not been doing as the Lord would have me do like reading and studying the scriptures and praying personal or family. I feel unworthy to speak to our Father in Heaven because I have made mistakes. Then everything doesn't work like it needs to I lose time and patience and I can't even focus. I feel my life spinning out of control and I cannot go on anymore and I break down because I know I am nothing compared to our Father in Heaven and Christ. I have to have help.

How can your hunger for things of the Spirit help you be more honest?

If I do as the Lord commands I can receive the spirit and with every day living and learning to change and wanting the Spirit with us constantly we can be honest with ourselves and others more often. We will be able to recognize the mistakes we make more quickly correct them and repent faster. To have the Spirit with us or to hunger desire to have the spirit with us we would be compelled to be honest to keep it with us because we would be unclean if we were dishonest and the Spirit could not dwell with us.

Honesty

"Some may regard the quality of character known as honesty to be a most ordinary subject. But I believe it to be the very essence of the gospel. Without honesty our lives...will degenerate into ugliness and chaos" (Gordon B. Hinckley, "We Believe in Being Honest," Ensign, Oct. 1990, 2).

Write about ways you have lied and attempted to hide your addiction from yourself and others. How has this behavior caused "ugliness and chaos?"

I have or would avoid people. I would wear clothes hiding my addictions. I wouldn't talk to anyone. I would hide from my husband and children and even extended family and friends. I have lost friends because of my hiding. I have scared myself. I have lost opportunities to gain clients and friends. I feel ashamed and can't bring myself to look myself or many others in the eye. I have lost time. I lose energy. I do not accomplish anything.

Humility

"Because ye are compelled to be humble blessed are ye; for a man sometimes, if he is compelled to be humble, seeketh repentance; and now surely, whosoever repenteth shall find mercy; and he that findeth mercy and endureth to the end the same shall be saved" (Alma 32:13).

Write about the circumstances that have compelled you to humility and to seek repentance. What hope does Alma give you? How can you find or receive that hope?

I nee more time to accomplish my tasks such as my family to clean my home to work and help support my family. I see how it affects my family and we know trials are ahead and we need the Spirit with us at all times and if I can get rid of these addictions and have the spirit continually with me then we will overcome the trials and challenges that await us. We will receive the mercy that we so desperately need to enter into the Kingdom of God.  I will be about to feel the hope and peace I need to overcome. But to receive these blessings I will need to put my heart mind and soul and constantly ask for His guidance and learn to be patient in our recovery. I need to feast upon the holy words and gather my family to me to feel of their support. Reading and pondering the scriptures and the words of the prophets so I know which direction I need to turn. :)

The Lord's Delight

"Lying Lips are abomination to the Lord: but they that deal truly are his delight" (Proverbs 12:22).

Writing the answers to these questions has called for a deep level of honesty about yourself. How does this passage of scripture relate to this kind of honesty? How can you become the Lord's delight?

To lie means we chase the Spirit away. The Lord loves it when we are honest with ourselves and others. If we continue to be honest with ourselves then we will progress and move forward and be successful in our lives. I will be able to identify my weaknesses and mistakes faster and repent faster than I did before.

The Questions are from the LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program A Guide to Addiction Recovery and Healing (copyright 2005 Section Honesty step 1). The answers are my own.