We are learning that procrastination is not a cause but an effect. We as people wrath our minds around past events that have caused us pain so we hold ourselves back because we do not want to feel that pain. We are afraid to be successful because it would require work and we want to control our lives outcome which in some cases can be good but most of the time it hinders our progression. We become analytical and bitter full of regret because we did not get out of our comfort zone and do the things we wanted to. I concede that there are things we should not do but other things like being successful,earning enough money to have your family comfortable, and reaching the goals we have set!
There are so many people out there that their sole purpose is suck the life out of those who work hard to get success and many achieve this because people are use to hearing it. We are addicted to the disappointment we are addicted to procrastination. We need to learn to shut those feeling out, shut the analytical thoughts out  so we can accomplish those goals that would bring happiness and we can feel and use intuition and listen to inspiring people and say yes I can do that. I am going to do that and then DO IT!!
We are children of the Most High God! He Wants the VERY best for us. If we continue to be humble and seek guidance and counsel from Him then why would He not give us the things we most desire? We are weighted down by our needs and our overwhelming. Just STOP!! I do not need to hear all the ways I can fail I KNOW THEM!! I have thought of them over and over again. STOP thinking and take action! Be the mother you want to be. Be the successful person you want to be. Be that compassionate person you strive to be. JUST DO IT! "What-e’er thou art, act well thy part!" Be the virtuous person you have always wanted to be. Don't think too much just go and do the things the Lord would have you do! Teach your children to do the same!! Teach them Who they are show them who they can become! Teach them to block the never ending saying "I can't"  You can and you must to live, to know you are worth success to, know you are worth the endless blessings of our Father in Heaven. Heavenly Father knows each of us and knows where our hearts are and what we strive to become and how we will and have made mistakes. Move past them and He will help us be better and accomplish our worthy goals! :)
I say this in the name of Jesus our beloved Savior Amen.

https://www.lds.org/liahona/2013/05/we-are-daughters-of-our-heavenly-father?lang=eng

*http://www.jefferysgoldenplan.com/step-1*<http://click.icptrack.com/icp/relay.php?r=36486133&msgid=85621&act=8QAO&c=922028&destination=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.jefferysgoldenplan.com%2Fstep-1>

We were scammed :( lost over 700 but we are coming around and trying to get where the Lord wants us to be and be able to support my family. We got our business pack. I am so excited :) We also had to get some more resources so we are hopefully ready to do this. :) We are listening to a podcast about over coming adversity. http://jefferycombs.podomatic.com/entry/2013-04-03T08_14_13-07_00
Must learn how to not cause adversity and not constantly recover from adversity that I created. It will be a constant fight because it is now part of my neurological network or the neurons that fire back and forth and people or places will show up to remind us of the past, but we can progress past if not all then most of this. We can learn to neutralize our mind state let them go not engage them we will be better off. Learn not to face adversity with anxiety because we will become overwhelmed instantly. This is the check out mode  and we lose the capacity to gain. I do this!! ARGH! I retreat and do not back in the game very well. I have gotten better but it is still a struggle. The people that have caused you to go into anxiety mode tend to show up more frequently because they can feel it radiating off of you. The idea is not to react. To stay cool and calm.

I will finish this call later, but today I was reading about faith and there is this website http://mormon.org/faq/what-is-faith

The comments really hit me but one inparticular really touched me and I figured out what I have be doing wrong. with my faith and moving forward here is what was said:

Cary answered...

Faith is a huge topic, rarely fully understood even by people who talk about it a lot. In the Mormon conception, it's a step of confidence between mere belief and full knowledge. It's perhaps best described by contrast with these two extremes on the continuum on which they all lie. First, faith is not that passive thing we call belief because it's a principle of action. So for someone to have faith, they have to be motivated to put a belief into practice, not merely be content with keeping it in their mind. For example, we believe that Christ is the Savior, but because we have faith we ACT as if this were true, and follow His example as best we can. In fact, "acting as if..." is a fairly good phrase to define faith. On the other hand, faith is not "perfect knowledge" either. There is enough of an element of uncertainty about the thing we have faith in, that it takes an effort of conscious decision-making to test our faith's hypothesis. If we had a full knowledge of a thing, that whole test, and the faith to find out if it's true, wouldn't be necessary. Atheists will argue that faith is mere belief (and baseless, at that), but what I have described for faith here leads to a more "scientific" approach that Atheists would like to admit is operable in the minds of the faithful. The proper response to a scriptural assertion, then, becomes not blind obedience, but rather careful thought, hypothesis forming, and testing. As tests come back proven or unproven, faith will grow in the right direction until it approaches "perfect knowledge".

So for me it was I was looking else where instead of concentrating on what I needed to do. I was not putting my faith into action therefore I was not showing Faith in the gaining the income we need. :( I will have to work hard at not deviating from the path that we know would benefit us. We cannot do this without the Lord. I must give my all! If I do not then we will not succeed. I asked Alan to forgive me for my non-faith and he loves me. :) I have to do this. I must succeed for my family for my husband and for myself. The way is open I just have to take it. Please Lord stay with me.  "I need Thee every hour," every minute and every second of my day so we can pull through.

We have decided to sell most of our belongings and live in a motor home. Kind of exciting actually as well as nerve racking. We have some support and we have some criticism, but it feels right. I was praying yesterday to know if this was a good way or the right direction to go and this morning looking at Facebook a photo from the destruction of Oklahoma there was a plaque that read "the best things in life are not things"

It will be hard but we will sell most of our belongs and the rest will be put into storage. We are hoping to save enough money to have a good down payment and be able to pay our debt on the land or home we choose. It will be kind of crazy but good. I am trully excited for this new adventure. The Lords will be done. 

Faith without works is dead: http://www.lds.org/scriptures/jst/jst-james/2.t1?lang=eng&letter=2

We can do this!!

We went to see the Christophersons last night in hopes of convincing him to not get the surgery. He was too set. He wants to try the diet after the surgery not before. Sister Christopherson would be more inclined to join the Isa-Family though. :) Even if they don't then at least they know there are alternatives out there. It was fun sharing and introducing ourselves. I have another name that I would like to investigate. I hope to see them tonight and ask them. I know many of them are getting ready to move but maybe they will let me share my quick story with them.
This morning we watched "come what may and love it" by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=1101413030001

We also watched Elder Hollands story about the young father, "Good things to come." We need to continue on and not give up until the Lord says rest. :) http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=911029449001

Lots to do lots to do. Rent increases in June then again in December. Must keep up hope. :)

http://www.lds.org/training/wwlt/2013/blessings-of-the-priesthood-in-every-home/the-example-of-a-righteous-woman?cid=HP000059&lang=eng

This video share a story of a young boy who found his mother in secret prayer asking Heavenly Father help her with her journey. They were Pioneers. She was one of the widows of Hyrum Smith. It left a great impression upon the young boy and he strived to have faith like his mother. I would like to do that for my children. Use the temple blessing to strengthen their faith as well as my own. Be grateful for what I have and move forward to accomplish our goals.

http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=910930409001

This was the New Years message but it still holds a message to those who are making life changes because we have be instructed By Heavenly Father through the Spirit to follow a different. A few people tell the story of Lot and his wife leaving Sodom and Guamora. The family was instructed to leave in a hurry and not to look behind them. Lot's wife stopped and looked behind her because she was not certain the new life the Lord had for them was better than the one they left behind. Her heart was just not in it so the Lord turned her into a pillar of salt.

For our family we have a long journey ahead of us and great goals and experiences to strive for. It has been hard to let go of what we have now and to push forward with what we need to do to accomplish the goals that we are seeking. We are afraid and for me some days it stalls me progress and I know it. I can see it. Just recently we found a property that is exactly what we are looking for to invest in. Well the house is a little big for my taste but the land is probably perfect. There is an orchard though it needs some TLC and tons of land to build the wind turbines on and have solar panels on. It is 243 acres!! We just do not have the income to pay for it.We can get there though but it will take longer than just right now. We will view it on Saturday but we will not be able to buy it for at least another 4 years. That is the plan anyway. We may not even get this specific land but one similar but we know what we are looking for. :)

We must look forward and be believing and do all that the Lord has asked and we will gain our objective and we will be able to help those of whom we want and that need it. Bless the Lord for all His mercy and love. We must not look back. :)

Today we passed the pups on to the Winters. It was bitter sweet. :) We also called a man about his land and house. 243 acres apple, peach, and apricot trees. 1.5 million dollars. Asked my brother David what he thought and he and his wife think we are nuts. :( We made proposal to Isaac and Ashley and they are going to do some more of their own research with the information we give them. I just want to cry many times because we have soo many opportunities and sometimes we do not know how to accomplish what we need to with them or we are scared. I need to find a way to earn 5000 a month this year. We may not be able to get that land but we could possibly find some land similar? It is just odd that we found this while driving around on a very rough day. We have had so many blessings! So many signs in the direction we are suppose to go and yet I can't seem to figure out how to get more clients!! I am very frustrated. I am hoping to gain a new client Monday. I pray for  more and more new clients to reach these goals that seem to be just in front of us and it seems we need to do.

In reading 2 Nephi 14: 2 and the institute manuals clarification:

Scripture:
 2 In that day shall the ^abranch of the Lord be beautiful and glorious; the fruit of the earth excellent and comely to them that are escaped of Israel.

Institute manual:
“Escaped of Israel” (2 Nephi 14:2) refers to members of the house of Israel who, through personal righteousness, escaped the judgments that came upon the wicked.

I find comfort in the saying that if you are righteous you will be saved from the judgements of the wicked. I am striving to be the most righteous that I can be to help my children, my family, and my friends. I want to help others reach their potential, but I need to reach mine too. I feel I can help others along my journey as well. I want to help others I want to be able to support others when they need it. We need all the spiritual guidance we can possibly get so we must do everything we possibly can to invite it. We must be as righteous as we can be and continually work on being better.

It has been a crazy week! Saturday we were suppose to go to the movies to see Iron Man 3 but it was sold out. We went shopping instead and put up part of the fence. There is a new family in the ward who I really like. They are the Winters. :) She is so sweet. The kids are pretty cute too. :) The dad is really laid back and nice too.  Moroni loves it there. :) Course Moroni loves every where, but home. :( Sunday was crazy. Everyone's kids were misbehaving and I had to walk out with Hannah a few times to change her bum or quiet her down. Moroni did not want to do anything we asked, so I got up and I walked out with both. I couldn't hand Hannah over to Daddy because she would have just screamed. I was so frustrated. My sweet sweet husband came out to me though and took Hannah off my hands even while he taught the class. She fell asleep by end. :) Oh such a relief. I appreciate all that he does for us. He is SO sweet!! I am truly  blessed to have him for myself and our children. I really don't know what I would do without him.
Monday we both finished up school and our finals for school. That was a relief to be done. We also go rain!!! We had fasted on Sunday for rain and got a slight sprinkle then Monday a rain off and on all day. We also had two stray puppies Brendal (female) and Brownie or Big Brown (male) find us needing lots of help. We had them stay in one of the kennels while Boss and Frodo shared. In the morning we found ticks all over them so I found someone to help me take them to the vet. They were shaved ticks removed and washed and sprayed to kill any remaining ticks. They came inside after that and I had to keep a close eye them. They liked to go up stairs and Brendal liked to pee up there instead of outside. :( That was a crazy day they are a lot of work!! Any way the next day I called a round and get an appointment for the vet on Thursday. Brendal got up stairs and pooped and peed in Moroni's room. :( Daddy took care of that though. :) Thank you Daddy! Bro Winters came by and checked out the puppies and said they would take them until we could find them a home. YEAH!! We can't keep them any longer than Saturday. I also got them collars and leashes So we have be working on walking. Thursday morning I found out the puppies got out and trashed the garage. AAAAAAAAA! GGRR! Poop and pee EVERYWHERE!! :( They tore up a box and tossed all  the blankets on the floor or the folded ones anyway. I had a presendency meeting that morning and then we hung out with some other ladies and Camille. I love Camille. :) She just lets me vent. LOL! Hannah didn't feel very good and had a hard time keeping anything down. She just wanted to nurse and I didn't really have a lot of milk left. :( We also went to the vet and got the pups checked out and got shots. So they are all set up for whoever wants to adopt them. We put the dogs outside in their kennels and cleaned up the garage a little bit. Still have a lot of work to do. We have decided to go Gluten free as well. I had two or three spiritual conformation yesterday that this would be the best route to take. It will be hard but I have to do it.  I know it will help me with my stomach pain and I hope it will help Moroni and Hannah. Alan doesn't really need to do it but if we are all going to do it then he will probably do it too.:) I hope he finds benefits from it too.  We need more clients as well so we need to do everything we possibly can to keep the Holy Ghost with us at all times. I can't do this with out Him. Today we have two speghetti dinners. It  will be fun but I will probably be hurting after. Then saturday is the primary activity. I am a little nervous, but I think it will be lots of fun. :) Sunday is Mother's day and I wonder what Alan is going to do. hee hee! I need to pull out the chicken and marinate it.:) Yummy grilled Chicken. The Pups go the Winters Saturday and we going to try again to see Iron Man 3. Busy Busy. Have to catch up on chores too. I think I will try and do that this morning. :) Before the lunch. I really hope Alan gets a half day today. Oh and one more thing we moved up our dates for the personal growth seminar so they would not conflict with Alan's inspection. I also moved up the wls seminar so that we wouldn't have to figure out child care again in November. I really wish Alan could take leave though during that week so he could take care of the kids and they would know him better. :( That can't happen though so Amanda and my mom will take the kids. :) 10 days and Hannah will be 11 months. :) I want to cry she is just so sweet. She climbs out of her bed already!!! Sheesh! Moroni is an AWESOME big brother. He wants so much to play with her and take care of her. Oh last night I had to resort to feeding Hannah two or three spoonfuls every 10 minutes. We got 5 strawberries down her and 2-3 ounces of milk down her and they stayed down as far as I know. I will find out for sure when  I go in to get her this morning.  Moroni knows Jesus loves him. :)