Studying Hope and Understanding

"Belief in God"

"Believe in God; believe that he is,and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend" (Mosiah 4:9).

"Many witnesses in heaven and in earth testify of God's existence.What evidences of God and His love have you experienced?"

Here lately I have felt peace and calming. When I look at my children and enjoy their sweet spirits I can feel the love the Lord has for them and me. When I feel their gentle kicks from within while pregnant I know they are coming from a wonderful home and I have close to God because we helps create these wonderful little bodies. When I think of the babies that have not survived and yet families have received comfort and know they are safe and with our loving Father and Brother. I know God is with us. There are so many unexplained miracles that are so wonderful and awe inspiring. I am one of these. I was born with a hole in my heart between the good and bad blood. In many cases the bad blood would flow into the good and the child would have to have life saving surgery while mine was reversed. The good blood was running into the bad and it saved my life. Many times also the holes do not close. Mine did. Very gradually but it closed!! 16 years. I think of my Mother is so many accidents and my father praying for her safety and though she was in the car accidents she was saved. Her ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and she was still awake she had lost so much blood! It was before Loraina and I was born. We are little miracles for my mother. I know as I was deployed He sent angels before me to prepare the way. I was so protected. I was so blessed that I could receive mine endowment before I deployed which also was a great protection. So many many things to be grateful for and to know God Lives Jesus is the Savior of the world and The Holy Ghost helps guide us to our true and everlasting salvation if we let it. I have overcome many things from my youth that many have not been able to. This is because the Lord was walking beside me and carrying me when I had no strength left. I would be dead if not for the Gospel. I would have killed myself long ago. I am blessed beyond what I even know. :)

"Faith in Jesus Christ"

"Preach unto them repentance, and faith on the Lord Jesus Christ; teach them to humble themselves and to be meek and lowly in heart; teach them to withstand every temptation of the devil , with their faith on the Lord Jesus Christ' (Alma 37:33).

"Many of us tried to get out of our addictions through sheer will power or through having faith in a friend or therapist. Sooner or later we found that our faith in ourselves or others did not enable us to overcome our addiction fully. Write about your feelings today of being humble and willing to turn to Christ and His gospel above all other sources of help in your recovery efforts."

My addictions are not as others or I had not realized my addictions were addictions until I was married which mentioned in the section above here. It took me a while to drop my pride enough to realize that I was indeed needing help from a higher Power. Or Heavenly Father and Jesus our Savior. It was so hard and I did push it off a while. But I knew trials were coming and I knew I didn't have the Spirit with me at all times and I was getting more flustered and taking it out on my children. I am in desperate need of help. I knew no one else could help me they had already tried. I have to beg forgiveness every day. I want the Spirit in my life  So I can be a good mother, wife, daughter, and sister. I want to have that peace and calming and have endless patience so I do not hurt my children in anyway and  I can help them progress and be better than I was. I want to be able to support my Husband in everything he does or needs to do with long patience without complain. I want my home to be Christ centered!!PLEASE! He is the only one that can help me now. :)

"The Savior's Compassion"

"Straightway the father of the child cried out, and said with tears, Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief" (Mark 9:24).

"This man sought help from the Savior and obtained it. Jesus did not rebuke him for his doubt. Write about the Savior's compassion and patience."

How many times have I screwed up? I can't even count the times. Even if you have just a slight belief in Him or in what He can do for you then He can help you expound on it and learn more. It is similar to the mustard seed. Even if you only have a slight desire He can help make it grow!! He is always there when we need Him the most. The Savior knows our struggles. He suffered for every single one of them. He feels our pain so He knows how to overcome and help us overcome. He has tremendous patience with us because I think of Jonah and I know He continuously waits for our return to help us. Every time we mess up and we return He takes us back without question. Endless patience. I desire to learn this with my life.

"How do you feel about sharing your feelings with the Lord?"

Many times I am afraid. I feel like He already knows my issues and doesn't need to hear them and I don't want to bother Him with them either. I don't feel worthy of His kindness. Then it becomes too much and I have to let go of them or they will eat me up so I tell Him and I feel a sense of calm and peace. I know He is giving me strength to carry on with my life.

"The Gift of grace"

"Let us...come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need" (Hebrews 4:16).

"In the Bible Dictionary, grace is defined as "divine means of help or strength" given through the "bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ" ("Grace," 697). This gift of divine strength enables you to do more than you would be able to do if left on your own. The Savior will do for you what you cannot do for yourself. His grace is the means by which you can repent and be changed. In what way have you felt the gift of grace in your life?"

He has relieve much of my pain from abuse I relieved as a child. I have a desire to change where at first my desire was minimal. He has helped me overcome trials. I have overcome an addiction already through His divine help and gentle guidance. He helps us gain experience and strengthen ourselves against the adversary.
I have prayed for His divine strength and I have received it. I am a work in progress but I know He has helped me with my addictions already.

"How can the gift of divine strength enable you to maintain continuous  recovery?"

I have to pray for it continuously throughout the day. It helps us overcome and think of better ways to handle the painful or perceived pain of life. Divine strength enables us to avoid our weakness. This is what I need to pray for every morning and evening. Even throughout the day.

"Healing"

Believest thou in the power of Christ unto salvation? ...If thou believest in the redemption of Christ thou canst be healed" (Alma 15:6, 8).

"When we think of healing, we usually think about our bodies. What else about you might require the healing power of Jesus Christ?"

My spirit needs healing because my body is connected to my spirit in our soul. If my body craves for something the spirit will eventually as well. The wounds are deep and need to heal for the soul or the body and spirit. As our Spirit and body heal our minds will then become clearer and heal as well. Our hearts need to heal as well they are the bodies connection or communication to the Spirit.

"Write about your need to draw on the redeeming (liberating, transforming) power of Christ."

I have a great need to call on this power because I am constantly struggling through my day to overcome my challenges. I have ups and downs. I just want to have a steady up so I can help my children to be happy and I want them to know I love them and discipline them without hurting them mentally or physically. It is sad that I have such a hard time letting go of my weaknesses because I am addicted to them. I must be better. My desire has grown but it is a difficult road and I have set backs. When you are use to it and those around you do it is hard to change, but I know if I just keep asking and praying and knowing or having faith I will get there and then I can teach others. Please stay with me. please. Need this to be successful in my family and work life.

"Awakening"

"If ye will  awake and arouse your faculties, even to an experiment upon my words, and exercise a particle of faith, yea, even if ye can no more than desire to believe, let this desire work in you, even until ye believe in a manner that ye can give place for a portion of my words" (Alma 32:27).

"Becoming aware-or awaking and arousing your faculties-is an important part of the process of learning to believe. In what ways are you more aware today of Jesus Christ and His power in your life than you were last week? last month? last year?"

From last week I know more than ever I cannot over come these addictions or weaknesses with our Him. From a month ago, I am learning that even though I might only have a slight desire to change it will grow. From last year I have learned even if I only have a slight belief in something that is good it will grow and I continue to pursue it. Or if I only have a slight belief in the power of Christ  He will still help me and guide me to more belief and a knowing of Him and His glorious power.

"Deliverance from bondage"

"They were in captivity, and again the Lord did deliver them out of bondage by the power of his word" (Alma 5:5).

"The word of God will be powerful in releasing you from bondage. You can find the word of God in the scriptures and the talks you hear at conference and read in Church magazines. You can also receive God's word directly through the Holy Ghost. Write some of the things you are willing to do today to receive His word to you."

I am willing to read the Ensign, Pray often morning and evening before scripture study. Study the scriptures, study Church books. I would love to go to more recovery meetings.